Kourtney will be singing this Friday at a talent show at our show. Singing is what she loves to do and is so confident in her performing. Todd will be accompanying her! She is the last one to perform and like any mother I am thinking they are saving the best for the last! I am allowed to go there in my mind am I not? We will record it and post it YouTube when my techie gets it on the internet.
So how are we really doing? To tell you the truth life has been very difficult. Kourtney is struggling socially and Todd and I are up to our eyeballs in knowing how to handle this very sensitive situation. I don't think we can chalk it up just to teenage years either as you all know Kourtney's situation is so different from most typical teenagers. We continue to seek much wisdom and are handling this situation in the most delicate way possible, but it soooo EXHAUSTING!!!
Social isolation is clearly one of the outstanding features of raising a child with special needs. We have felt it at many stages in the last 13 years. Over the last 2 years though Todd, Shaelyn and myself have found our SCHTICK (gimmick, the things that help shape us). Todd's is his leading of worship and playing in the band, Shae's is her skipping and mine is my work. This has given us an out and something else to focus on. Unfortunately Kourtney has not found her schtick in life yet. No matter how much we try to give her options, we are met with a lot of resistance.
Next year Kourtney will be attending highschool with a new teacher's aide (Tammy is moving to Calgary). We are hoping and praying that she will find that one thing that she loves to do and she will stick to it. We are also praying for her to have a group of friends that she will feel comfortable with. This last year she has faced soooo much rejection from friends that it really makes my heart break. I can't say it is just one-sided as Kourtney is very sensitive and speaks her mind quite easily, and just ends up alienating herself. Kourtney is also very depressed, which makes her withdraw even further. As a result she does not actively participate in what is going on around her. She wants people to be a part of her world but has a difficult time opening herself to new people and new activities in her life.
So yep! Life is rough, but great all in the same sentence. I recently weaned myself off of my antidepressant due to unwanted side effects and with the hope that the coping mechanisms I have practiced over the last few years are mightier than the meds. So far it has been going well. I find I am a bit more energetic and can get myself out of bed for a run in the morning! I am a lot more emotional and feel the tears fall easier. After watching the following video I have a feeling that the your tears will fall easier.
