It is Sunday morning 0900 am and I am still laying in bed, dog at my side, cup of coffee and my laptop!! Shae and Kourtney continue to snooze and Todd is at church. The quietness of the morning has given me some time to reflect on this week. All I can say is that life has a interesting way of working itself out that just makes me grin. There is a certain beauty to life when you "lose the control" (not lose control) and allow God to work things out in His time. It is a practice that has not been perfected by any means in my life . . . but this week I felt as though I have come a long way.
If I were to step out of the room this morning I would be hit by the fact that there is a huge kitchen reno going on. The kitchen has been taken right down to the studs. I feel the drywall dust in my teeth it is so thick in here, but somehow it doesn't seem to matter to me. Of course I know that the end result will be a spectacular kitchen. But I am thankful I can see the forest through the trees. Todd has worked very dilegently in getting the kitchen ready for the different trades people. At the beginning of this week we weren't sure how long this reno would take but we have all our trades people lined up ready to start work. How awesome is that!! If everything goes according plan we should have our new kitchen by the middle of November.
We went through a difficult thing with Shaelyn this last few weeks with some friends. I won't go into detail. The old mama bear in me wanted to intervene and micromangage the situation, but, Todd and I both decided to let things play out they way they needed to. I just could not understand why, for once in our lives, things couldn't just fall into place. In the end Shaelyn proved herself strong, confident and capable to have many people take notice and comment on her skills. Things fell into place . . . just not in the time frame that I wanted it in and without me trying to stick my nose into it.
This semester at school Kourtney has done very well in math. She has always struggled with the facts, not the problem solving. Most summers I have great intentions for her memorizing her math facts, usually with hindering results, (reason right there why I chose nursing over teaching) but this summer I didn't push anything on her. I released the control and in the end Kourtney found her own way of excelling in math. I feel this ways with her anemia issues, her walking, and her skin. I have to let and allow life to work itself out the way it needs too.
This week I found myself in a very sticky situation, but was able to get through the crisis and see amazing results out of it all. I stayed calm and was able to say the right things. Years ago I wouldn't have known how to handle this but over the years I have learned just to "wait".
I have come to the conclusion that this is a very difficult balance being a mom, wife and all. But there is a certain beauty in not staying awake at night trying to work things out in my head. I almost feel spoiled in this role of motherhood that I can enjoy my life and not have to worry about trying to make life happen. I am looking after my self spirtualy by throughly enjoying a Beth Moore bible study, mentally by breaking up the daily grind by going to work and physically by doing Yoga. It is a very freeing area of life to be in and I take comfort in it (even right now Shaelyn wants the laptop but I am holding her off).
This morning I woke up with a grin on my face. . . . now have to take this grin out of bed and start some much needed housework.
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