Snowed and Snow

The last 5 days Kourtney has been dealing with excruciating post-op pain. She took so much pain medication that it would snow a 400 pound man, but it didn't touch her pain.  The simple fix would have been to get her admitted with a IV pain pump running. However, it would have meant having to endure the dreaded ER and exposure to germs that could complicate her already complicated situation. Between myself and 2 of Kourtney's doctors we had a plan. One can be brave for so long and of course it all happens1hour before I have to leave for work.

For the last two days I had questioned if I should work on Tuesday night.  Kourt had been taking one medication that worked well but had some serious side effects. Once again we had to weigh the odds and decide what was the best for Kourtney. We cut back on the "too good to be true" pain medication and the pain went from a steady 6 to a 10. She had just returned from the Spaghetti Factory where she ate an unusual amount of food (another side effect) and the pain hit with a vengeance. I called Dr. C. and he told me to bring her in to Vancouver so he could take a look to see what was going on under the dressing. So that meant I had to do the call of shame and opt out of my shift for the night. As always these moments are always "prearranged" as my friend Angela was in charge; no explanation just her blessing a" family always comes first." The next few hours was straight out of a sitcom as Kourtney and I had to run the gauntlet of nurses and residents in the emergency department explaining why she was there.

First of all Todd had come home from a bike ride as Kourtney had her breakdown. In his helpful/not so helpful way he thought we were going to Abbotsford hospital. We all gave him the stink eye as he finally clued in that we were travelling to Vancouver in the first predicted snow fall of 2018. Staying calm is not always my forte when Todd takes a while to clue in.  I had to remind myself that the reason I felt comfortable driving into Vancouver was because he bought us a reliable van in the fall and he makes sure we have snow tires.. In all of this Shaelyn (the forgotten one) had to be picked up from an appointment. 

As Shaelyn can only do she walked out of her appointment carrying a puppy while a new found friend carried a second.  The pair  are up for adoption and of course Shaelyn had an agenda. "It's for Kourtney!"  Ughhh!  Shae knows anything baby melts my heart. Feeling vulnerable in the moment I almost brought it home.  Knowing I would be the most responsible person looking after her,  the reality of having a puppy sunk in.  So I said ask your father.  Of course that conversation did not go well. It was a nice distraction well it lasted. 

Our drive in was free of accidents but Kourtney's pain was intense. On arrival the ER was full of sick kids with puke buckets and coughs. It was straight from a scene from Elf as Kourtney looked ginormous compared to the other children there.  There was no room to maneuver Kourtney's wheelchair and not one person offered to move from the end.  I planted myself right next to the waterless hand soap dispensers.  Soon we had a nurse take us to a room. I felt sorry/not sorry for her for this poor over vigilant nurse. Blood pressures on Kourtney are difficult when one arm has a picc and the other one is painful, O2 sats and temps are never straight forward. As she went through the long list of Kourtney's medications the poor nurse told me she paged "plastics" and "she" would be there in 30 minutes. I said, "Whoa, we were supposed to meet up with Dr. C. who is a HE."  That poor little nurse with the Harry Potter glasses decided to disagree with me! 20 years a mom, 25 years a veteran nurse vs a nurse of 5 minutes.  Rookie mistake!!  I told her I would be happy to page him myself.  Those Harry Potter glasses became foggy as she was starting to sweat. She went and talked to her supervisor and I could hear the eye roll in her voice. (Anyone who works in health care knows what I am talking about). She chose to continue with her plan of care and brought in a poor resident who had no idea what to do with Kourtney- so she paged Dr. C. 

In 5 minutes the Good doctor comes in. He took action immediately and removed Kourtney"s dressing. Kourtney was a brave trooper as she did it without many pain medication on board. There was no crying or screaming just deep breathing. At one point she had to tell me to quit breathing so hard as I was having sympathy pain.  The wound was deep and raw but the skin graft en grafted. I actually think it's the first time I have seen the skin en graft. The poor resident was dry heaving as the dressing was being changed. The wound becomes a petrie dish of bacteria , the bandages are a great medium that create a pungent odour. Dr. C. and I both commented on the smell but we  know it's normal . There was nothing obvious that could be causing the pain except for the huge gaping wound, So he bandaged her up changed her pain medication. I was all about staying the night but Kourtney wanted to go home. . So we trekked back slowly through sleet and ice and returned home at 1 AM. Kourtney had a great night her pain level down to a 2.  We felt somewhat relieved and after what Kourtney went through I could conquer some nasty highway driving. Kourtney went to sleep quickly.

Unfortunately I didn't sleep, I was hit with a whole new level of insomnia. So many things swirling in my mind. So as soon as the morning caregiver showed up I went to bed, but there were appointments to be made, classes to cancel my never ending list continued to grow. As I finally started to rest Kourtney's pain increased again, I told her to look after it as I couldn't. She dealt with it on her own and her pain improved.

Tomorrow brings a whole new day and another trek into children's for a dressing change. This time she will get it done with sedation so Dr C can have a better look and it can be cleaned up a bit better.
I most likely be there sweating it out with her,  ultimately I am her mom first and there is an emotional attachment that is looming over my head. I am worried about the pain, the biopsy results, the healing, etc. Some days it is just too much for this mama too handle. Thankfully we will have a distraction as Beth and Brielle will join us. They are huge lights to us.

I will let you know how tomorrow goes.