Way Too Long!!

I have to apologize for not keeping my blog updated. There is no excuse and it doesn't mean that we haven't had exciting events in our lives. It is really difficult to know where to begin when I haven't blogged for so long but I might as well start with our butterfly teenager princess Kourtney!!

Kourtney

On September 20th, Kourtney became a teenager! She celebrated with 10 friends at Boston Pizza and then our house for a movie and a birthday cake. Unfortunately after that day life went downhill for her. She went to Children's Hospital for an iron infusion; 4 pokes for an IV and no success! We both ended up in tears and I honestly think the poor doctor was going to sign me up for the loonie bin. You have to understand that being on an antidepressant has suppressed my emotions (especially the tears), so when I do cry the heavens open and the tears are like Niagara Falls (it actually feels kind of good when it happens as it is such a release for me). Enough about me...back to Kourtney!!

After that ordeal Kourtney was not quite herself. She was sinking back into her depression. Her adjustment to grade 8 was rough as she dealt with her labile emotions and the labile emotions of every other teenage girl in her class. There were many mom and daughter pep talks during that time and my heart ached for her. She ended up getting a cold that played havoc on her skin and I became worried that without necessary iron in her body that she could get sick again. I booked another iron appointment but cancelled to go be with my family in Saskatchewan (my dad had a heart attack and was needing bypass surgery ( I will share more later).

I was in Saskatchewan for 5 days and came home to a dejected 13 year old girl; her cold still lingering and her skin breaking down. We ended up getting in fast for an iron infusion and committed the IV to God. We prayed that the right nurse would be given to us and the IV would go in on the first try, and it did. Kourtney cried tears of joy when the nurse smiled at her and said, "It is in." We had other nurses peering through the window that all cheered when I gave them the thumbs up.

After that obstacle Kourtney became perkier but her labile emotions were starting to wear on our whole family. The bottom line seemed to be that she was sore in the morning, her stooped posture, her lack of use of her thumbs despite the surgery in June = a very big depression. I spoke to Dr. Courtemanche about arranging a multi-disciplinary meeting and he willing obliged and began to gather his "peeps" together. On November 8th we had a meeting with psychiatrist, anaesthetist (from the pain team), Dr. C., hematologist, our dermatology nurse, OT, PT , Todd, Kourtney and myself. We all put our heads together for the best plan to deal with Kourtney's joint issues and her looming mood. There was a lot accomplished in the one hour including the possibility of Kourtney receiving a myoelectric arm (research to follow). We were so thankful for this hope as it would give her Independence beyond what any of could ever imagine including taking herself to the bathroom and being the life of the party being able to crush pop cans with her forceful grip. We haven't started the process of funding yet but I believe once we wrap our heads around this it won't take long for this process to start.

So since this fateful day Kourtney seems to have a better outlook on her life. She didn't want to keep having surgeries just to face disappointments. Although the emotional outbursts still are regular we all have a better perspective on how to face them. Her pain control is better and surprisingly she doesn't come home from school worn out. She has a smile on her face and has ambition to keep herself occupied when she gets home.

Todd

Shortly after I returned from Saskathewan, Todd woke up complaining of pain. Janelle instantly recognized it as kidney stones. That morning became our first of many visits to the ER. We realized that our medical system is only designed to treat the symptoms but not deal with the problem. I was so very unimpressed with our local hospital and felt somewhat dismal knowing that I was a representative of that hospital. To date he passed 2 small stones and one large peppercorn sized one that had to be "surgically removed" and is now waiting for a lithotripsy to be done on the other offending stone.

Through all this Todd still has lead the Alpha Band at church, plays in the church band and still remains positive.

Shaelyn

I have to give this little trooper a lot of credit for putting up with all of this. I think her name should have been Endearment. Somehow Shaelyn seems to get through during these troubled times. She generally has our day organized from the time she rolls out of bed in the morning, by asking us, "What are we doing today? - which means, "What am I doing and I won't stop asking you until you give me a concrete answer." Grade 4 has now brought projects, and letter grades. Shae has taken this on and really enjoys these challenges. She continues to do her skipping and is doing very well at speed skipping (which doesn't surprise any of us).

Jennifer and Lexi

Our cat and dog had a bit of an altercation. Lexi tries to dominate Jennifer by a term that we call "humping". This behaviour exhibits itself more when Lexi is in her heat cycle. When Lexi does this it usually ends up in friendly fire between the cat and dog. Unfortunately during one of the attacks Jenny ended up scratching Lexi's cornea of her eye causing photo phobia and pain. Lexi had to go get pain medication and drops for eyes. The poor thing has not learned her lesson and continues on her quest of domination of the cat!

ME, MYSELF and I

Surprisingly enough I have managed to stay even through these little trials of life. I felt myself going down with Kourtney somewhat but was able to keep perspective through it all. I still love my job and always I have a place where I can focus on something other then life's trials at home.

When my dad had his heart attack, I was warmed by the fact that my family wanted me there. After all the trials of the past two years, it became clear that it was truly forgotten and the past became just that, the past. I was able to spend quality time with my mom, dad, and youngest brother Murray who was also getting married that weekend I was there. I believe that I was meant to be there despite Kourtney's torrid state at home. My dad is feeling great and has a whole new outlook and perspective on life!!

We feel very blessed to have my brother Meldon and family in Kelowna. We have not had any of my family that close by and feel it is a luxury!!!

Just last week my sister Sharon came out with her two little ones. We had a wonderful time together and felt blessed to share in each other's lives.

God is not just good . . . HE is faithful. He has brought us through the desert and we feel we are reaching the promised land!!

Back to work, back to blogging.

So I have now returned to work after 5 weeks of freedom. I enjoyed every minute of my time off and now I have to get back to the real world of alarm clocks. I received a warm welcome on my return to work; hugs, and thoughtful words from many friends. At one point I got a little teary, being so overwhelmed by the many awesome people I work with.

So how are Kourtney's thumbs? There has been a bit of disappointment with them but according to the good Doctor Courtemanche, he is pleased with them. They are quite stiff right now so holding a pen is not an option for her. I think the long term goal is splinting them and maintaining the web space as good as possible. I am just thankful that I don't have to figure it out or worry about them. We'll leave it in the very capable hands of Dr C.

Our trip to Saskatchewan was a huge success. We were able to see all the people we needed: including my parents, 4 siblings and spouses, 2 nieces and 8 nephews, my 101 year old grandma, my aunt and a cousin and her family. We felt blessed to be able to with my family for a week. It was a huge let down to come home and not have 20 people over for dinner. My parents house is beautiful. I kept having to remind myself we were in Regina, it was so resort like.

Since we have been home we have had many pool parties, dinners with friends and family. We hosted a bridal shower tea party for Brittany, and went to the fireworks in Vancouver with friends.

Our summer has been packed full so far, but we are still looking forward to visits from my sister and family, a trip for two (Todd and I) to Vegas to celebrate being 40 and also our 14th anniversary. Also my brother has moved to Kelowna so we will go do a housewarming visit.

I felt very teary today, we have so much to be thankful for and are amazed at the God-given energy that channels through our lives. Our lives are so full, not due to what we have, but what has been taken away. We live for the day and try not to worry about tomorrow.

Having said that . . . 40 has hit with some news that I am getting older high cholesterol, high blood sugar levels and a sore body. I have taken some action by seeing a dietician and have undertaken measures to try to keep my body healthy. My nice little antidepressant pill has increased my appetite and I am reaping the benefits of a 15 pound weight gain (ARGH). My friend Carla inspired me on my birthday not to let myself go and I have heeded her advice. Yep even doing yoga 3-4 times a week still isn't good enough it is what I am putting into my mouth that is the problem. Just a little frustrating as I really do have a love affair with food.

So once again I am putting myself out there, making myself vulnerable to everyone to let every one know Janelle is taking charge of her life (once again). I want 40 to be appealing not appalling.

Time Flies! - Happy Birthday Janelle

Yes, time flies when you're having fun and before you know it you've entered a new decade in life. This morning I'll be making coffee and breakfast for my 40 year old wife!

I know on the calendar you're just one day older but you are entering the 4th decade of your life. I welcome you to the club! Looking at our engagement picture (1996) reminds me of how in love we were way back then. We didn't really have a care in the world and made the most of our time together: hiking, biking, camping, and rock climbing and late night visits after we finished work @ 11:00. In some ways it seems like just yesterday but time flies when you're having fun.

Thank you for being my dreamer (and woman of my dreams). We've had lots of fun fixing up old homes and while I've done most of the work, the vision has come from you. Your mind is always in motion; thinking of different and better ways to get things done at home and at work. And our lives are richer for it.

Thank you for being a my wonderful wife and friend for all these years. I'm looking forward to making many more memories over the next ten years when I get to welcome you into a new club, the 50's. Yes, time flies when you're having fun and before you know it the girls will be finished school and ? ? ?

Enough with the future, let's just enjoy your birthday today ! The Facebook birthday wishes from your friends say it all and are a tribute to the wonderful friend you are and I can only say, "I concur, Happy Birthday Janelle!"

Stillwood

So here I am on the Eve of my last day at Still wood camp. I have to say "fitting in" has not been very easy. I missed all the bonding moments during camp training and walked into a camp that has over 150 work crew, counsellors in training and senior staff. Even the married couples have not reached out to me. I am not sure what it is but I just have not felt a warm reception. The oldest out of the crew are 24 years of age; one of them being my partner in crime (believe me we have committed many already). Shawna, a recent nursing student grad and she has been wonderful and open to suggestion. She has been stuck with me for the week. Stillwood camp is tightly run and it is easy to break rules even when you don't even know you are breaking them. Shawna and I were tattled on because we took food out of a certain area and we got a talking to. Our supervisor is a lady with the camp name, Lovey. She is quite the drill Sergeant but has this camp running in tip top shape. I don't think she likes me very much since I came up with some new ideas for medication administration (which has been very efficient).

However, I do love the children. Nothing is better than having a crying little child come to you with a sore head or tummy and giving them a freezie to making them feel better. I love hearing the chatter at dinner, and the children singing songs around the campfire. I get a kick out of the children that I have watched grown up being away from their parents and waving to me just to let me know they are OK. The best was having my own children come to the camp and being a part of this community of 320 campers. Kourtney watched me take slivers out, and learned to drive the golf cart around the camp. We never laughed so hard when she forgot a golf cart is not like her wheelchair. The golf cart has a brake and you continue to go even when your foot is off the pedal! We also sat and just chatted without interruption while Todd and Shae were off on a hike.

I miss my family so much. The homesickness I feel is overwhelming; I just want them to be a part of activities. My heart aches for Kourtney that she has not grown up being a part of camp. I want her to be a part of this community. Shaelyn is coming next week, and I am looking forward to seeing her enjoy the energy that defines camp. If the weather cools down a bit then Kourtney will come hang and sleep out here with me. I love my family even more.

I know it is the small things in life that amuse me but the funniest thing I have seen is one the counsellors that can't swallow pills. He is probably over 300 pounds, so when he came in for pain meds for his back, he asked if we had children's Tylenol or else he would just chew them. I decided not to put him through the agony of chewing the pills so I dosed out the children's Tylenol. The package insert was thrown away but if I did it according to the weight chart the poor guy would have needed 20 chewable Tylenol. I gave him 5 and told him to come back if he needed more. Tonight he came in and needed more drugs. He said he would just chew them, so I asked him if it would be OK if we threw an Advil in also, just so we could see him do it. We of course promised him a freezie. He chewed them like they were candy and not even a face was made. I was very impressed.

I am getting a lot of reading done, my tan is now back as we have a portable nurse's station set up by the pool. I have been hiking up Teapot Hill everyday and enjoying God's wonderful creations! I do love the surroundings, I just need to find an in with the people.

July is here!

The month of July is here! We have used our pool about 3 times, the air conditioner has not been on in the house, the skies are overcast and I am the whitest I have ever have been this time of year. All in all we don't complain too much because we have managed to have 3 successful end of the school year parties without rain and Kourtney has remained very comfortable in this weather with her hands all bandaged up.

The 4 of us went into Vancouver for Canada Day. We stayed at a luxurious downtown hotel, went to the Canada Day Parade and then watched the fireworks. We once again were faced with the challenge of maneuvering Kourtney and her wheelchair through the crowds of people. We sought refuge in our favourite stores, Lush and Lululemon and enjoyed seeing what they had to offer. At one point in the hotel we all crashed on our respective beds and rested. I don't think we realize how our family goes into autopilot to organize surgeries, have parties, maintain the house and yard so when we crash, we crash.

The next day we went to Children's Hospital for Kourtney's thumbs reveal. Dr Courtemanche was his chipper self and talked Kourtney through the first bandage change. Her first thumb was stuck to the bandages, raw and sore. Her other thumb and wrist was completely healed and almost ready for use next week. She did very well. She stuck her head into my shoulder so she couldn't see what was happening. To the untrained eye her little thumbs were a bit of a sorry sight. Shaelyn was a little weak-kneed by the sight and put off by the stench of the 10 day old bandages coming off. We actually thought she was in the waiting room but she did sneak into the room and decided to watch. (That kid has seen so much I am wondering what is in store for her life?) But to the rest of us, seeing Kourtney's thumbs were a monumental sign of Independence for Kourtney. We did not take pictures as they were covered back up very quickly.

We got home at noon and once again all of crashed on our bed at home. We ended up going for a long walk. Kourtney even walked for quite a while on her own while the rest of us took turns driving her wheelchair. We took Lexi off her leash through one of Abbotsford's many wooded trails and she did not hesitate running through the streams and through the moss. Our cute little pet is a hiking dog which made Todd happy.

Once again I am almost astonished how far Kourtney has come since last summer. She wouldn't even walk down the street without fighting us and now her goal is to do a 2.5 km walk in the fall. The more she walks during the day, the straighter she becomes. It has been a long haul, caused a lot of tears but through the struggles endurance has been built into our character. We as a family have learned what it means to rise above the challenges. We need to crash when we need to so that the autopilot can be refreshed when it needs to be used.

I am turning 40 next week, nope I didn't run my half marathon but I think my last year has been a full marathon, and I believe I crossed the finish line when I saw Kourtney's thumbs. There have been many reasons to stop but I believed all the way through that God has a lot more planned for Kourtney's life then we know. I knew that by running this marathon it would be hard on my body and soul, but I knew in the end that fighting the fight would bring my Kourtney back from a sick little girl to a strong and happy child.

I also have started my blog but just need some time to tweak it. Hopefully at camp I will be able to find some time to work on it.