OVERDUE UPDATE

My girls with attitude!!

Truth be told, I have been a little afraid to blog. It just seems life is too good to be true. It really all started after the meeting with Kourtney's two doctors when we discussed the bone marrow options. Since then it feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. There has been some progress with this but I will leave it for another blog post.

Kourtney and Kourtney

Enjoying the Arizona sunshine

Our trip to Arizona was so amazing. We enjoyed the sun, but the best part was being with "The Arizona Kujawa" family. The welcome mat was extended over and over again, and we loved every second we spent with this family. Once again we were reassured that our Kourtney could not have a better name sake then the original Kourtney Kujawa. Her inner and outer beauty radiated to all of us, and especially to Kourtney. As well, cousin Natalie shared with us and made us laugh and cry with her. We are so thankful that we were allowed this trip, and hope to make it an annual adventure.

The Lutzer family!!

Kourtney, Kourtney and Natalie!
 

Game of keep away in the hotel pool!

Over the last 2 months we have enjoyed our reprieve from Children's Hospital visits. We have found that if Kourtney misses even one day of school she gets behind so quickly. So, although we still should go in regularly, to see physio, OT, dietitian, dentist, dermatologist, pshychologist and the list goes on we feel that education is so foundational to Kourtney's future that there has to be a balance and for now it has to be tipped towards her education.

Kourtney is doing extremely well in school. She has taken more ownership of her education and has soared!  Although she has many open, slow healing wounds, there are no more infections, minimal pain and she is sleeping very well at night. The dilatation has done wonders as she is now able to swallow easily and the transfusion has helped her energy level. At this point the positives outweigh the negatives.

I often think it would be easy for me to walk with a swagger right now and think,  "Wow, I must be doing things right."  I feel great, exercise regularly and am running faster then I have in years. I have had energy to spring clean and I love my job. Todd and I are getting along better than ever. We have been blessed with amazing friends (the Vissers) relatives close by (The Lutzers) and far away relatives in Arizona and Regina that we can truly call friends. We have 2 sets of parents who are always there in times of need, amazing caregivers, we are being blessed financially and the list goes on.

Shaelyn and cousin Clarise!!

Shaelyn has been doing very well in her skipping this year! We had a little chat at the beginning of the year about her being at the top of her age category (10 -11 year old), and if she was going to do well, this year would be the year. She took that challenge on and was doing well at all of her tournaments. There was a provincial tournament last weekend, which would determine if she would compete in a national competition in Moncton, NB. Her "team" of four would be competing, but in my mind I thought it would be very nice if she would be able to compete individually as well. I was feeling that she would have a very good chance at placing and was excited to see her do well at the tournament. However, my plans for her placing individually were altered when her cousins from Kelowna arrived. Shae's head space was taken up with ways she could spend time with her cousins rather than concentrating on her skipping.  Even to try and talk to her about how she was feeling on the weekend was met with a really bad attitude, as well as her lament about her cousins. One has to understand, Shaelyn is the most non-competitive child and spending time with family means everything. She is dedicated to people.  Her only concern at the tournament was whether or not she would win the raffle prize.  I am not sure how Shaelyn has not inherited my competitive gene. I am so competitive that when I don't get a 5/5 on my dental hygiene at my orthodontist appointments I feel a little upset.  So the short of a long story. . .  she tanked in her individual competition. I was horrified to watch this go down, and felt physically sick when Todd and her broke the news that she didn't even place in the top 8.

 So the heart to heart talk began, to see if Shaelyn actually wanted to skip. Big crocodile tears rolled down her face when the option of not skipping next year was put before her. Between the 3 of us we concluded that she would skip but the attitude would have to change. Todd and both had to ask the questions about how hard do you push your child to win? We both came up with the same answer - and truly were able to say that we would rather have a child that is so easy going and puts others ahead of herself. What is so wrong with that?

I am not in control!!!

I really wrestled that night with God. I just wanted something to be easy for my girls. But once again that sweet small voice gave me a song. I was once again brought to the place of humility, and realized that, "I will not boast in anything, no gifts, no power no wisdom, but I will boast in Jesus Christ, His Love and Resurrection". I got taken to the point of complete humility . . .  only to receive an email the next morning from the coach, that Shaelyn will be competing individually because some of the other athletes from BC won't be attending. So,  Shae just squeaked into the individual competition level. It is the constant reminder that I am not in control of anything. Seems to be my life story.