I realize this is a Christmas letter, but I couldn’t write without really telling you where my heart is at.
The word discouragement has seemed to plague us this past year. We have battled skin infections, viral infections and blisters in her esophagus that cause extreme pain and an inability to swallow.
In the last six weeks we have had some very serious events happen with Kourtney. Without going into a lot of detail, we have noticed Kourtney’s skin and general physical condition spiral downward. We are unsure why things have changed so much, even since October. We are praying for wisdom and guidance in trying to figure out how we can ease things up a little for her in her daily routine.
In all honesty, I feel like I am fighting a losing battle with her skin. Todd and I feel so helpless when it comes to looking after her. It becomes a vicious battle because Todd and I are stressed, then Kourtney is stressed, she takes it out on her skin and that we get even more stressed.
It is also very difficult to find the balance for Kourtney; her healthy mind is trapped inside an unhealthy body. We can’t let it stop her from being involved with regular 7 year old activities, but yet the damage to her skin is irreversible.,
Kourtney’s spirits can uplift anyone who walks into the house. She seems undaunted by the disease that has invaded her body. Kourtney does not know anything different, but there is not a day that goes by that she expresses her pain. What do you want for Christmas Kourtney? “A new body,” she replies.
Kourtney’s love for music still remains. Watching her lead worship for her peers is truly cute and amazing to see. She is confident and looks forward to the weekends when she sings at church.
Specific Prayer Requests
That Kourtney could have a new body . . . that God would heal her!!!!
For Todd and I . . . patience, peace and protection of our marriage.
We can’t forget Shaelyn either. I know that siblings of special needs children suffer also. Shaelyn has become very needy and expects us to treat her like Kourtney. She also is a very bright light in our family and makes us laugh a lot.
We are also trying to figure out if we will cut back her days of school or hours of school. We think school is too overwhelming for her body but yet the social stimulation is great and provides the opportunity for me to have a bit of a break from Kourtney. Academically Kourtney breezes through all her work.
Pray also that Todd could find a job right in Abbotsford (he commutes 40 minutes each way every day). We would love to have him closer.
We hope that this year you will take our family on in daily prayer as the battle seems more spiritual than anything. We know that God has done great things through Kourtney and will continue to do more, but Satan is a discourager and likes to see us in the pit. We pray for Peace amidst the storm and that we will continue to hold our heads high as we care for Kourtney.
In anticipation of what God is going to do,
The Kujawas
Tuesday, January 4, 2005
Shaelyn's Update (2004 in review)
This year, my mom gave me the responsibility of being the Editor in Chief. At 3 years and 9 months of age I feel excited about giving you the rundown of the events that have shaped our past year. My mom says this year has been a year of growth for our family. Our motto this year is from Joshua 24:15, “. . . as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” The words of Brian Doerksen’s CD “Today” have touched our hearts and lives. We are praying that through the hustle and bustle of Christmas you will take time to reflect how your family can serve the Lord in the year to come. We want to share our personal growth chart with you.
My Sister (Kourtney)
My sister has grown so much this year. I seem to have a new wardrobe every week as I inherit a lot of her clothes. Kourtney loves to read and is reading well beyond the grade 2 level . I benefit greatly from this because she loves reading to me. She is my bestest friend although she can be very bossy. We love to sing and dance together and chase each other around the house. My mom says I am probably the only one who treats her normally, which I think means I don’t let her get away with a lot.
Me (Shaelyn)
I know have achieved big girl status as I reluctantly gave up my soother. I taught myself how to swim and am able to jump into the deep water without anyone catching me. I love to draw and paint pictures and Kourtney is teaching me my alphabet. At last I don’t suffer separation anxiety when my parents leave me at Sunday School. Last but not least, my hair has grown thick, curly, and blonde, but still short.
My Mom (Janelle)
My mom’s organizational skills grew as she filled in for the head nurse at the dialysis unit this summer. She has also signed up to be a consultant for Mary Kay cosmetics. Mom loves having fun with makeup and even tries stuff on Kourtney and I. (My dad even takes samples of lipstick and hand lotion to school. He really thinks a pink SUV would suit him well.) My mom still loves running on her treadmill if she can’t get outside for a run. She seems to smile more after a workout. I just can’t imagine being that sweaty and feeling good after.
My Dad (Todd)
My dad completed his post graduate degree in June. He grew in his knowledge of computers and also his pay cheque (more Polly Pockets for me). My dad continues to hone his home renovation skills as he finished the kitchen cabinets and countertops, installed laminate flooring, knocked out a wall to make room for French doors, did electrical work, and designed and installed a new rail around the stairs. They say renovations are never done, but I think in my dad’s mind they might be. My mom has been banned from home reno shows as it gives her too many new ideas.
My mom, dad and Kourtney are leading worship in the Sunday School Open session. They do 3 weekend services every 3 weeks. I sometimes rush the stage when they are up there, but this last week I was too close to the monitor. I ran off the stage with my hands over my ears screaming, “It is too loud!” I can hardly wait until I am old enough to help out.
We have had visits from cousins Clarise, Nate, Wyatt and Maguire (who was inside Aunt Sharon’s tummy at the time). Of course their parents, Auntie Charlotte and Uncle Meldon, came with them. We also enjoyed a visit from Grandma Charlene and Grandpa Harold. We are looking forward to having a house full of Lutzer family members for Christmas this year. They will be in for a green Christmas this year as B.C. Christmas’s are typically mild.
We took a much needed family vacation, to Penticton this year. It was so hot we felt like we were in Hawaii. We spent most of our time in the swimming pool at the hotel. We felt very relaxed after we were there.
We also had an enjoyable time on our annual trip to Sylvan Lake for a Lutzer Family Reunion. I really enjoyed being with my cousins.
Merry Christmas to all. I know this is going to be the greatest Christmas ever.
LOVE SHAELYN (for all the Kujawa’s)
My Sister (Kourtney)
My sister has grown so much this year. I seem to have a new wardrobe every week as I inherit a lot of her clothes. Kourtney loves to read and is reading well beyond the grade 2 level . I benefit greatly from this because she loves reading to me. She is my bestest friend although she can be very bossy. We love to sing and dance together and chase each other around the house. My mom says I am probably the only one who treats her normally, which I think means I don’t let her get away with a lot.
Me (Shaelyn)
I know have achieved big girl status as I reluctantly gave up my soother. I taught myself how to swim and am able to jump into the deep water without anyone catching me. I love to draw and paint pictures and Kourtney is teaching me my alphabet. At last I don’t suffer separation anxiety when my parents leave me at Sunday School. Last but not least, my hair has grown thick, curly, and blonde, but still short.
My Mom (Janelle)
My mom’s organizational skills grew as she filled in for the head nurse at the dialysis unit this summer. She has also signed up to be a consultant for Mary Kay cosmetics. Mom loves having fun with makeup and even tries stuff on Kourtney and I. (My dad even takes samples of lipstick and hand lotion to school. He really thinks a pink SUV would suit him well.) My mom still loves running on her treadmill if she can’t get outside for a run. She seems to smile more after a workout. I just can’t imagine being that sweaty and feeling good after.
My Dad (Todd)
My dad completed his post graduate degree in June. He grew in his knowledge of computers and also his pay cheque (more Polly Pockets for me). My dad continues to hone his home renovation skills as he finished the kitchen cabinets and countertops, installed laminate flooring, knocked out a wall to make room for French doors, did electrical work, and designed and installed a new rail around the stairs. They say renovations are never done, but I think in my dad’s mind they might be. My mom has been banned from home reno shows as it gives her too many new ideas.
My mom, dad and Kourtney are leading worship in the Sunday School Open session. They do 3 weekend services every 3 weeks. I sometimes rush the stage when they are up there, but this last week I was too close to the monitor. I ran off the stage with my hands over my ears screaming, “It is too loud!” I can hardly wait until I am old enough to help out.
We have had visits from cousins Clarise, Nate, Wyatt and Maguire (who was inside Aunt Sharon’s tummy at the time). Of course their parents, Auntie Charlotte and Uncle Meldon, came with them. We also enjoyed a visit from Grandma Charlene and Grandpa Harold. We are looking forward to having a house full of Lutzer family members for Christmas this year. They will be in for a green Christmas this year as B.C. Christmas’s are typically mild.
We took a much needed family vacation, to Penticton this year. It was so hot we felt like we were in Hawaii. We spent most of our time in the swimming pool at the hotel. We felt very relaxed after we were there.
We also had an enjoyable time on our annual trip to Sylvan Lake for a Lutzer Family Reunion. I really enjoyed being with my cousins.
Merry Christmas to all. I know this is going to be the greatest Christmas ever.
LOVE SHAELYN (for all the Kujawa’s)
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Novemver 21 Update
Tomorrow Kourtney is heading back to school.....her nights have been free of choking and her esophagus seems to be cleared of the obstruction without any surgical intervention. We know that she will still require a scope to view the damage done to her esophagus by the blisters.
This week has been tough, we have been really home bound, Shaelyn has been bouncing off the walls, Kourtney has not been going to sleep well, and I have been sleeping with the girls, which has made me feel overwhelmed (I feel a vacation would be nice right about now.) Oh yeah, Todd has been unwell this week.
Despite all this, life goes on. We have been encouraged by meals, (Quirings, MacDonalds and Pauls, thank-you) by Kourtney's grade 2 class which has sent cards, books and toys, Todd's grade 4 class providing a basket of goodies for Kourtney, and for all the encouraging emails saying that people are praying - how cool. For those of you feeling sorry for Shaelyn at the moment she has cashed in greatly on all the generosity. There is no such thing as "mine" in the Kujawa house.
Looking at Kourtney right now sleeping.....I still can't get my head around why God chose Todd and I to parent this child. I feel so helpless in preventing the disease that has done so much damage to her body despite our efforts in maintaining her skin. But what always amazes me is her soft gentle spirit that loves God and loves her friends and family, the child who loves to leave messages on answering machines telling how much she apreciates that person, the child who still runs around Revy with a child size shopping cart even after a fall that she is healing up from. If you want to pray for us specifically pray that Todd and I will never ever hinder that spirit by being so overwhelmed by her disease. Pray that we will be able to focus in on the little girl not on the EB. Kourtney has touched so many lives and will continue to do so and I pray for strength and energy to carry on as we continue on.
We are looking forward to Christmas, I have already has started the Kujawa Gauzette, this time written from Shaelyn's perspective.
This week has been tough, we have been really home bound, Shaelyn has been bouncing off the walls, Kourtney has not been going to sleep well, and I have been sleeping with the girls, which has made me feel overwhelmed (I feel a vacation would be nice right about now.) Oh yeah, Todd has been unwell this week.
Despite all this, life goes on. We have been encouraged by meals, (Quirings, MacDonalds and Pauls, thank-you) by Kourtney's grade 2 class which has sent cards, books and toys, Todd's grade 4 class providing a basket of goodies for Kourtney, and for all the encouraging emails saying that people are praying - how cool. For those of you feeling sorry for Shaelyn at the moment she has cashed in greatly on all the generosity. There is no such thing as "mine" in the Kujawa house.
Looking at Kourtney right now sleeping.....I still can't get my head around why God chose Todd and I to parent this child. I feel so helpless in preventing the disease that has done so much damage to her body despite our efforts in maintaining her skin. But what always amazes me is her soft gentle spirit that loves God and loves her friends and family, the child who loves to leave messages on answering machines telling how much she apreciates that person, the child who still runs around Revy with a child size shopping cart even after a fall that she is healing up from. If you want to pray for us specifically pray that Todd and I will never ever hinder that spirit by being so overwhelmed by her disease. Pray that we will be able to focus in on the little girl not on the EB. Kourtney has touched so many lives and will continue to do so and I pray for strength and energy to carry on as we continue on.
We are looking forward to Christmas, I have already has started the Kujawa Gauzette, this time written from Shaelyn's perspective.
Monday, November 15, 2004
November 15 Update
To all our friends and family,
Sorry I didn't email this am but our power was out this am and than Kourtney dominated the computer the rest of the day.
Our night went extremely well. Kourtney had no swallowing issues, we however kept in mind she was really drugged last night. She had a very quiet lonely day today but her spirits are incredibly great today. The sparkle is back in her eyes and the blisters on her face are starting to dry up. I still haven't called the surgeon as I really want to see how her night goes tonight. She has eaten her favourite (a goofy bun made by my mom's sister Sharon), she managed to swallow it. But I think that she will need surgery in the next couple of weeks. I am really waiting on the Lord to give me a clear sign that she needs it or it is something we could hold off on.
Kourtney's face is starting to dry and scab over, thank goodness for a improved dressing called Mepitel. It is sticky enough to stay on and heal but will peel off without taking the scab with it it is actually revouluntionary for this disease. Her chest area has the same dressing on it and is already getting smaller, we just have to keep pumping her full of her feed through her gtube, she needs the calories to allow her to heal.
On Friday night Todd and I prayed and asked God to heal or or take her into heaven....watching a child suffer has to be one of the hardest things to watch and also make sense of. Todd and I felt wasted and hopeless. The next morning Kourtney woke up and said, "Mommy, you and I are going to make it through this". I couldn't say anything, during the day God gave me so much Peace it almost seemed I was in a state of shock. That night God spoke to me in HIS small voice and said, "Janelle, Kourtney's life is going to serve more of a purpose through her life than through her death, I have given her to you to help serve this purpose, hang in there and I will show you great and wonderful things, don't give up."
I still pray earnestly for Kourtney's total and complete healing, I always will but I honestly think that Kourtney's life will be a constant reminder of God's Amazing Love and Grace, even through the most difficult times.
We will keep you updated. Thank-you for your prayers.
I bought her lipgloss today, she put it on, looked in the mirror and said, "I look beautiful." That's what I call grace.
Sorry I didn't email this am but our power was out this am and than Kourtney dominated the computer the rest of the day.
Our night went extremely well. Kourtney had no swallowing issues, we however kept in mind she was really drugged last night. She had a very quiet lonely day today but her spirits are incredibly great today. The sparkle is back in her eyes and the blisters on her face are starting to dry up. I still haven't called the surgeon as I really want to see how her night goes tonight. She has eaten her favourite (a goofy bun made by my mom's sister Sharon), she managed to swallow it. But I think that she will need surgery in the next couple of weeks. I am really waiting on the Lord to give me a clear sign that she needs it or it is something we could hold off on.
Kourtney's face is starting to dry and scab over, thank goodness for a improved dressing called Mepitel. It is sticky enough to stay on and heal but will peel off without taking the scab with it it is actually revouluntionary for this disease. Her chest area has the same dressing on it and is already getting smaller, we just have to keep pumping her full of her feed through her gtube, she needs the calories to allow her to heal.
On Friday night Todd and I prayed and asked God to heal or or take her into heaven....watching a child suffer has to be one of the hardest things to watch and also make sense of. Todd and I felt wasted and hopeless. The next morning Kourtney woke up and said, "Mommy, you and I are going to make it through this". I couldn't say anything, during the day God gave me so much Peace it almost seemed I was in a state of shock. That night God spoke to me in HIS small voice and said, "Janelle, Kourtney's life is going to serve more of a purpose through her life than through her death, I have given her to you to help serve this purpose, hang in there and I will show you great and wonderful things, don't give up."
I still pray earnestly for Kourtney's total and complete healing, I always will but I honestly think that Kourtney's life will be a constant reminder of God's Amazing Love and Grace, even through the most difficult times.
We will keep you updated. Thank-you for your prayers.
I bought her lipgloss today, she put it on, looked in the mirror and said, "I look beautiful." That's what I call grace.
Saturday, November 13, 2004
November 13 Update
To all our friends and family,
AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE WE WILL SERVE HIM. WONDERFUL,COUNSELLOR, EVERLASTING FATHER,ETERNAL KING, WILLINGLY WE FOLLOW, TODAY I CHOOSE TO FOLLOW YOU.
Shaelyn has been singing these words for the last month. Brian Doerksen sings this song on his CD "TODAY". Whenever we get into our van Shaelyn asks us to play this song over and over again. I beleive that the words to this song has brought us through our last crisis with peace that passeth all understanding.
Since last Friday Kourtney has battled painful eyes, obstructed esophagus and a fall that took her skin off her face, half of her chest and both knees. On top of everything Todd's parents have been away cruising the Carribean.
In all of her seven years, Todd and I have never felt so much Peace through the storm. We feel that God is going to do something huge in our family or through our family and satan is trying hard to discourage us.
Before Kourtney's fall last night Kourtney kept repeating, "JESUS, JESUS, JESUS" I asked her what she was doing. She told me that she asked Jesus into her heart again, she said that she knew she only had to ask Jesus into her heart once but she thought she would do it again so she could have twice as much of HIM in her. After her fall she said "no matter what happens to me, I will always trust Jesus." That was enough for me to put aside all my grief and face this last episode with strength that only comes through Jesus, I was not going to give the wimp Satan any foothold this time or let him affect the family. We called the troops in to pray for Kourtney and in our home the most beautiful group of people came in to pray for Kourtney and for healing. Kourtney's grade 2 teacher this year is a believer and helped us bring the troops in.
We can still say this week.....as for me and my house we will serve Him. I am praying that God will do a huge work in our family in the months and years to come as we continue to look after Kourtney's skin disorder.
Please pray for her immediate needs: Kourtney's esphagus will need surgery in the months to come, please pray for complete clearance of her esophagus without surgical intervention as this surgery is very invasive and could cause further damage. Pray for speedy healing from her fall so that there will be no infection. Pray for Shaelyn as she saw the fall and was horrified by it. Pray for Todd and I that we will be encouraged as parents raising a very special family.
Our biggest prayer request is for Kourtney's complete healing...Shaelyn is evidence that our prayers were answered with a yes and that is how we want God to answer our prayers. We know God weeps when he sees Kourtney's skin, we pray for his complete intervetion.
This is the short edited version of our week. We haven't slept in the last week, we have had a night in the ER, a barium swallow at children's and had to to waint 3 hours just to see the surgeon a gastroenterologist. The surgeon gave us some very discouraging news about her esophagus which hit home once again how severe her disorder is. There was soooo much to take in. If you have any questions feel free to ask which would further help you to pray for our little butterfly princess.
With much love, Janelle
AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE WE WILL SERVE HIM. WONDERFUL,COUNSELLOR, EVERLASTING FATHER,ETERNAL KING, WILLINGLY WE FOLLOW, TODAY I CHOOSE TO FOLLOW YOU.
Shaelyn has been singing these words for the last month. Brian Doerksen sings this song on his CD "TODAY". Whenever we get into our van Shaelyn asks us to play this song over and over again. I beleive that the words to this song has brought us through our last crisis with peace that passeth all understanding.
Since last Friday Kourtney has battled painful eyes, obstructed esophagus and a fall that took her skin off her face, half of her chest and both knees. On top of everything Todd's parents have been away cruising the Carribean.
In all of her seven years, Todd and I have never felt so much Peace through the storm. We feel that God is going to do something huge in our family or through our family and satan is trying hard to discourage us.
Before Kourtney's fall last night Kourtney kept repeating, "JESUS, JESUS, JESUS" I asked her what she was doing. She told me that she asked Jesus into her heart again, she said that she knew she only had to ask Jesus into her heart once but she thought she would do it again so she could have twice as much of HIM in her. After her fall she said "no matter what happens to me, I will always trust Jesus." That was enough for me to put aside all my grief and face this last episode with strength that only comes through Jesus, I was not going to give the wimp Satan any foothold this time or let him affect the family. We called the troops in to pray for Kourtney and in our home the most beautiful group of people came in to pray for Kourtney and for healing. Kourtney's grade 2 teacher this year is a believer and helped us bring the troops in.
We can still say this week.....as for me and my house we will serve Him. I am praying that God will do a huge work in our family in the months and years to come as we continue to look after Kourtney's skin disorder.
Please pray for her immediate needs: Kourtney's esphagus will need surgery in the months to come, please pray for complete clearance of her esophagus without surgical intervention as this surgery is very invasive and could cause further damage. Pray for speedy healing from her fall so that there will be no infection. Pray for Shaelyn as she saw the fall and was horrified by it. Pray for Todd and I that we will be encouraged as parents raising a very special family.
Our biggest prayer request is for Kourtney's complete healing...Shaelyn is evidence that our prayers were answered with a yes and that is how we want God to answer our prayers. We know God weeps when he sees Kourtney's skin, we pray for his complete intervetion.
This is the short edited version of our week. We haven't slept in the last week, we have had a night in the ER, a barium swallow at children's and had to to waint 3 hours just to see the surgeon a gastroenterologist. The surgeon gave us some very discouraging news about her esophagus which hit home once again how severe her disorder is. There was soooo much to take in. If you have any questions feel free to ask which would further help you to pray for our little butterfly princess.
With much love, Janelle
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