The irony of it all . . .

Since Kourtney was born, one of my objectives of raising a special needs child was, #1 not treating her like a special needs child and #2 not letting her act like a special needs child.

I think one of my worst fears centered around Kourtney developing friendships with other children. It has been difficult for Kourtney to "do stuff" for example birthday parties were difficult as she was usually accompanied by a caregiver, myself or Todd. I worried about her social isolation and spent many sleepless nights wondering how she could make friends. I didn't want children to feel they needed to be friends with Kourtney but I hoped they would want to be friends with her. When Kourtney was in a new environment with children her own age it was difficult to get past the stares, the questions and the horror in people's eyes when the disease was explained to them. The comments that I generally received, were "does she have friends" and "just wait till she gets to high school it will be worse there". Yep thanks . . . just for that comment I will pop another sleeping pill.

Over the years though, Kourtney's bubbly personality has proved itself over and over again and she has developed some amazing friendships at school. That is why last year we "jumped through many hoops" to get Kourtney back to school with her friends at Fraser Middle School.

When Kourtney was in grade 5 she would spend lunch in the library in a recliner chair. She would get her g-tube feed during that hour and was encouraged to rest. In the beginning she could take a friend with her and they would "quietly" read or play on Kourtney's laptop. Over time one friend turned into 3-10, and the quiet time turned into skits, choreographing songs and planning pool parties at lunch. Eating lunch with Kourtney was as popular as eating lunch with a rock star. I remember once being there with the library packed full of a crowd of girls and they were getting loud. One teacher came along and didn't tell them to be quiet but just shut the door quietly. Kourtney always just sat in her recliner chair and was always directing the entertainment scene. I observed this to be therapy for Kourtney as she looked forward to her lunchtime hour at school.

Once she got to middle school, I was a little unsure how popular this daily lunch time event would be. Middle school kids are a different breed of human beings with the hormone switch from nice little girls to moody preteens. I wasn't sure if it would still be the "cool" thing to do at lunch hour. I still encouraged the quiet room instead of Kourtney being integrated with the "general population" of budding middle schoolers.

In grade 6, Tammy (Kourtney's teacher aide), said that around lunch time Kourtney started to have anxiety because she was worried that nobody would stay with her at lunch. That was remedied by a sign up list being made so the girls would commit to be with her at lunch. Last year there was one girl who became quite upset and accused Kourtney of taking her friends away at lunch time. I could not believe my ears when I realized that the lunch time ritual was a very popular event with the girls. Along with the accusation came bullying and when the teacher got to the heart of the matter it had been revealed that she had been jealous of Kourtney since grade 2 because she felt she got extra attention from the kids at school.

This year Kourtney's lunch time routine remains strong. But now during lunchtime, they are starting to plan Friday night parties at our house. Kourtney planned a Halloween party at our house. She organized for everyone to bring something (from movies to drinks). I kept thinking I had to get something, but each time she would say, "Mom I got that covered."

Once again we find ourselves in an ironic situation . . . there are more kids who are wanting to be part of this popular lunch time event. Kourtney has been receiving notes from one girl desperately wanting to be part of this. She even told Kourtney that the world doesn't revolve around her (I told Kourtney that I am the only one that can say that to her.). She was even intimidated on Facebook by one of the girls. Unfortunately these children are afflicted with huge social and behavioural issues and Kourtney would not feel comfortable having them around. Fortunately the teacher has stepped in once again and is helping the girls work through this. I am confident he will bring the right resolution to this situation.

To think last year Kourtney was catatonic and in so much pain . . . she didn't want anyone around, and she barely spoke 2 sentences all day. Now she is planning parties at our house which average 6-7 girls on a Friday night. I did not ever think I would find myself in this situation, ever. I always thought Kourtney would have a "few good friends" but she has so many . . . and may I add they are absolutely lovely girls. Many people may think Todd and I are a bit nuts for opening up our home every Friday night, to a bunch of grade 7 girls but we love to see them and love to see Kourtney interacting and wanting to be a part of life again. YAY

We also know that this sets the standard for Shaelyn to have parties here also. We have the right house for entertaining and are so thankful that it is being used for that. Speaking of our house....
Our kitchen is making great progress . . . drywall, plumbing, floors, counter tops, appliances, and cabinets seem to be making the deadline for November 21st . . . how exciting.