Take My Voice and let me squeak.?.

click HERE for video

When Kourtney was born, the song "Take my Life and Let it Be" became her song. For those of you who don't know, the song goes through the different parts of the body acknowledging that we are created by God and that every part of our bodies can be used for honoring God. It seemed like every part of the body mentioned in the song was blistered on Kourtney when she was born. Hands, feet, body the only thing that wasn't affected was her voice. Kourtney had a very piercing cry. I remember praying and asking God to preserve Kourtney's voice so that she could sing and speak. As many of you know Kourtney has a powerful singing voice and has been articulate ever since she was very small.

This last week the tension in our family has been rising. The stress we have been feeling with the "new upcoming contract" is starting to tear us all apart. The other day I got a phone call from a man from the Ministry of Children and Familes. He could not figure out our contract. So here I am on the phone after school, Kourtney was wanting a snack, Shaelyn needed her hair in pony tails for skipping, the dog wanted out and I am trying to describe 12 years of Kourtney's nursing history to someone who was very pleasantly confused in a bureaucratic way. My anger was intensified as I was on the phone and then I stepped on the dog harness that was left in the middle of the floor. I am not sure what came out of my mouth but I knew that I had to ask forgiveness very quickly to my family. I was reminded why I don't like talking on the phone and why I love email.

Then, on top of it all Kourtney managed to lose her voice Tuesday morning. The kicker of this is that she made it to the final round of her speeches and was supposed to say it Wednesday.

As I am feeling frustrated I also knew in the back of my mind that Kourtney's hemoglobin may be dropping again. We have had a sabbatical from the lengthy iron infusions at Children's for the last 2 months. We have been trialling oral iron to see if her body will absorb it. Kourtney has no side effects from the iron but I am suspecting it is not helping her (just a hunch - I hope I am hunching wrong about this one). I knew we had to get blood work done in Abbotsford sooner than later so that if her hemoglobin has dropped we could recover it by getting an iron infusion. So I had to break the news to Kourtney that she needed her blood work done. This sent Kourtney into a fury and whatever voice was left was now completely gone after she threw her fit. I was completely frustrated as I heard nothing but squeaks come out of her voice and became completely full of self pity and threw my hands up saying, "Whatever God, I can't do this you need to take this one because I can not deal with all this."

So we got to the lab and I literally had to drag Kourtney into there. As I was standing there waiting in the crowded waiting room,I saw a technician I knew from a long time ago. I worked with her at Menno Hospital and had run into her at the hospital a few time since working there. I called her over and asked if she could do Kourtney's blood work. She was more than happy and Kourtney settled down when she knew that the technician was somebody that I trusted. I knew it was a God moment when I asked her how long she had been working in this particular lab. Her response, " I don't work here, they just needed me here today," actually I said, "we needed you here today!"

This morning there were numerous tears as Kourtney tried to talk and just squeaks came out. She was convinced that she couldn't do her speech, but Todd and I both told her that her voice may get better by the afternoon. I went to the school for lunch and sat with Kourtney. She cried and was debating if she was going to do her speech. Proud Dad, Todd, came to watch Kourtney do her speech and reminded her that God provided the right lab technician to be at the lab that day, God can give her voice back. Then Tammy (Kourtney's TA) had a pep talk with her as well as her teacher. Tammy requested that Todd and I not say anything more because our presence was making her more upset (there were no other parents in attendance yep we were just a little proud).

After the 3rd person went for their speech it was increasingly obvious that Kourtney was becoming more nervous. So they changed the line up and had Kourtney do her speech. Kourtney walked up and said her speech with no squeaks! She was articulate and confident in front of her peers (to see her speech, click HERE. This one was the semifinals, we will post the finals when we have time to do it.) Kourtney then got the phone call that she made it to the district finals- way to go Kourtney!!!

OK! Lesson learned once again, but why is it that we have to hang off the cliff so many times to wait for an answer, is it my lack of faith? I don't know but whatever it is I am reminded once again that I have no control - I just need to be faithful. We are waiting for the blood work results and hoping for good results. If not, we will just have to suck it up and take our trips into Children's for more iron infusions. We will keep you informed.