The Pan of Cookies!

The last two days have been really rough! I am hoping the cloud in my head has to do with the clouds in the sky. I don't like feeling this way, and I know even the slightest amount of sunshine can help me through the day. I stay on course with my eating until the evening, until the chocolate chip cookie cake scent wafts through my nostrils and what starts as just a taste, turns into "what the heck if I am going to blow my diet-might as well use the stick of dynamite". The binge lasts the night - and so do the stomach cramps.

Friday, after my cookie binge, my whole family was home from school. My nice schedule that I have admittedly become selfishly accustomed to was thrown off. I should have exercised prior to the dressing change, however, it was a day to procrastinate. On the rare occasion Todd and I do the dressing change together.  Usually it is one of us and a caregiver but due to conflicting schedules we ended being "Team Kourtney". We both are experts at doing  Kourtney’s back where as the caregivers usually do bottom half. (secretly, the back is easier to do) so it caused a bit of commotion when Todd and I put on our automatic pilot and started working on her back. I graciously gave up my post on the back and went to work on Kourtney’s legs, which I apparently could not remember what I was supposed to do. Although her skin was looking good, I am not sure if it was the different perspective of doing her legs and knowing how much pain she is in that sent me into grief mode! I don't think any dressing change is easy- it depends what state of my mind  I am in.  Clearly with the gut bomb and lack of exercise I was not in a great mood. Once again I am reminded why a life of discipline is so healthy for me as well as my family! I did end up going for a walk with the dog and Shaelyn. The dog needed some exercise, and apparently so did I.

I also am dealing with other issues, that I will not get into. WE live in a fishbowl, that is all I am saying. I feel as though that we get judged easily by the people who watch from the outside of the glass. The ones swimming with us – get it!! I would have hoped that our blog would be an important tool to diminish false accusations but apparently it is not.

The other thing that is bringing sadness into our lives is my father in law Dave, fighting his battle with Parkinson's. He has been very unwell for the last 3 weeks, and does not seem to be improving. If you have a moment or know my mom in law Bev, please send some encouragement along.  It has been very difficult to watch the downhill spiral, although you know it will happen, you can not prepare yourself for how it affects your heart!! It is so difficult as well because Dave and Bev have been a huge support system for us and our biggest cheerleaders in our journey with EB. Now the tables are turned. Love you guys!!

The verse that God has given for me today is, I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future! Jeremiah 29:11

With that my goal for today it was a better day already.....ran and went for a bike ride. Kelly is here and is able to maintain a healthy balance for our girls.  I get to blog - ahhhh it feels so good. Going to make myself.......a smoothie :))