Shaelyn

Since July, I have been away from Shaelyn for over 30 days. My little 7 year old has been such a trooper through all of this. Granted there have been meltdowns and clingy moments, but all in all, Shaelyn has been her happy, cheerful, compliant child. Hot tub times are the times to connect and talk about everything in the whole world, and I mean everything. Zazu (our foster cat) has also played a major role in helping Shaelyn through our crisis. The cat will actually sit on the edge of the hottub when we are out there just so he can be close to Shaelyn.

When Kourtney first got home from the hospital for the 2nd day, her pain was so severe that she was catatonic. She could not even move in bed without hurting. She didn't talk and would only walk to go to the bathroom or to her bed. Her pain was so intense that she shut everyone and everything out. Kourtney was terribly annoyed with Shaelyn. Shaelyn wanted nothing to do with Kourtney and shut herself in her room with a DVD player and watched movies. I knew my family was in crisis yet I was so exhausted to deal with all of this! I so prayed for wisdom in dealing with this behaviour. I do believe God gave me that wisdom. I moved Kourtney into Shaelyn's room. They have always have had their own rooms but for the most part they end up sleeping together anyways. I think the girls were stunned by my action, but I now see that as a turning point in getting Kourtney better.Shaelyn has been the only one that has been able to treat Kourtney normally over the years and they have formed a typical love hate realtionship. I needed the two of them to communicate . . . and for Kourtney to get better she needed to feel annoyed and for Shaelyn to deal with Kourtney she felt a sense of accomplishment in knowing she was annoying Kourtney. The two of them needed each other and needed to fight to regain some normalcy in our home.

I often think we avoid the sibling of special needs children too much. Everyone always feels sorry for Kourtne, yet Shaelyn's needs always come second in our home. She is the forgotten one. I am learning to take time with her and spend alone time with her especially in the hot tub. Wednesday's are our special days, and we look forward to them. Shaelyn's name means gift and I always think of her as that because of her happy disposition right from the moment she was born. She was that to both Todd and I.

I have to remember to listen to what she is saying, because I know that if I don't she will start acting out and seeking negative attention. I just pray that she will always know how much I adore her and think she is such a precious gift to me.